On the way -humility, purification, help of the grace divine
As the soul will grow inside through aspiration and fire for realization, we will begin to feel more and more tangibly the extended hand of the Divine Mother, always ready to take us over the most dangerous grounds, protecting us from disastrous back breaking falls, calling us on with Her friendly voice, full of love and tenderness towards a joy and liberty, free from all undivine influences.
This is my constant prayer to Kali, that She may intervene always and make it impossible for me to do the smallest wrong movement in speech, thought and action. The work for purification is long, difficult and one must be very patient, one must have an untiring endurance. There is no need to put the sackcloth on the back but to make a strong resolution, not to repeat the mistake, not to betray our noble ideal, our sublime spiritual destiny. These mistakes often have a stabilizing effect and show us very clearly how far we still are from the simple path of Light and Truth. Each fall has a salutary effect on our spiritual development for it pricks the bubble of our arrogance, destroys the delusion of our spiritual greatness. We fall on the ground and what a blessing it is. It is an hour of Grace with great humility. We rise again determined to remain pure, determined to take up the sacred priesthood in the Temple of the Mother Divine.
Once the soul grows, then all the inferior movements so natural to man naturally drop away. There is not even an effort required to get rid of them. These inferior movements become foreign, unacceptable, even extremely painful to the awakened soul. That is the sure sign that now one is on the highway of the divine realization. We can never get rid of our inferior instincts by our own effort. We must be simple and utterly humble and feel the total helplessness, the impotency of our own force and call on the divine Power to purify and raise us. We must not cover our face with shame but must have courage to expose ourselves fully, consciously to the supremely blessed Light of the Mother Divine. She does not criticize. Nor does She look down upon us. Once we have sought Her help, She can never abandon us. She is kind, gentle, compassionate, full of understanding with Her tenderness, She heals the inner wounds and gives us strength to follow the destined path. We must have an absolute confidence in Her. She is most pleased when we are entirely frank, sincere, open and simple like a child in Her Presence and tell Her everything. She is unbelievably near to us always caring for us, always ready to intervene, always shedding Her Light in our being to awaken us to the spiritual existence, to the Divine Presence, to the splendor of the Supreme Being who is all, beyond all, eternal and infinite. She is leading us step by step slowly and steadily to that vision when we shall be in the presence of That which has no name, which is not conditioned by the appearances or forms beyond all relativity, That Divine who is and was and will be always the most unfathomable, the most mysterious yet the most intimate and wonderful and ecstatic Person, Existence, Source, the only thing real.
Blessed is the one who has ever plunged into the spiritual life with the name of the Mother Divine. For him there is no defeat, there is no failure, no death, no cessation for one day he will most certainly live in Her absolute Presence sustained by Her love, impelled to life and action by Her love.
1980 N.Guha Roy
Meditation -The Sun looks at itself through its myriad fragments.
I try to reach the utmosconfines of time till my consciousness bursts the boundaries of past, present and future and enters a state of timelessness, eternity, a consciousness which always is separate from, unaffected by the passing show, the endless procession of names and forms, swimming universes rising and disappearing in the flood of time.
There is nothing stable. Time flows ceaselessly carrying in its current the eternal wonder of dawns and sunsets. The base is stable, subtler than the subtlest substance, yet substance of all the time flow. The show is perpetual and forever renewed. The tiniest flower, which for a morning glows in a meadow with its fugitive blue and pink petals, is an eternally recurring refrain in the vast symphony of time ... it will come back again on another earth in another distant cycle, when our earth disappears or is transformed into something else. All is contained in all. The highest divinities and the darkest monsters are made from the same unseizable primordial substance. Masks and facades, multi coloured wave patterns rushing through time before some witnessing eye do not hide the One Player, so intimate, yet forever unknown and unknowable.
Look into the Past. Probe the future. Scrutinise the Present. There is the same friendly face, the bewitching smile of the utter Stranger. In this vast, boundless, timeless indivisible Sameness, do I exist? Do you? Does anybody indeed? Can a dewdrop see the Sun? A sunflower feels and turns to the Sun. So here and there through the ages there have been souls who could perceive this hidden indivisible unique Sun. Always the same, indivisible, unfathomable, mysterious, eternal, infinite Light.
Shine evermore in our consciousness. May you get reflected without distortion, deformation in our purified transparent mirror of the soul. The Light has been, is, and will be always there, for there is nothing else. Did I say masks and wave patterns? I am wrong. Each blossom, each face, each form, dark and dangerous, delightful and ravishing is a sculptured poise of that immutable Light. My soul is numb and silent before that ineffable Oneness which pervades all time, all existence. There is only the One and the timeless manifestation of the One. O soul, forever contemplate the One intimate, yet forever impossible inaccessible. Let me get lost in the marvelous One.
Let our limited, divided consciousness dissolve in the all sustaining, original Mother Consciousness.
Om namo, Om namo, Om namo.
Om Douce Mère, Om Sri Aurobindo.
N.Guha Roy 1982