The energy flowed, I couldn’t contain it.  The whole body was like a powerful dynamo.  I thought I would blow up, but gradually things subsided, energy was always there, light, light, everywhere.  The Power sometimes receded, then came back, almost with an explosive violence.  I felt as if all the cells were burnt out, but relieved.  I felt I have crossed the bar and been admitted in the supreme spiritual Reality – everything, everyone, anything in my mind became ravishingly Divine.  The whole world, all the beings were only the Divine in His splendour.  In that light, intolerable ecstasy going through the body like a gigantic generator, the inner being has been crushed out of existence as if it has passed through a massive sugarcane crushing machine. Nothing is left of the personality, everything has been scattered into the infinity of God, into the vast boundless, vibrating ocean of love, the Mother.  There is nothing but the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. They are one supreme Being, everywhere in everything – staggeringly powerful, devastating Presence.
Our human body, even our inner being, all taken together is extremely weak, and at the mere touch of the divine Force, or with a drop of that golden liquid, all the being can end up in an explosion – it will take centuries to prepare bodies which can safely hold the sacred fire.  The evolution will proceed by slow steps, very slow steps, otherwise it will collapse.
From then onwards there was a fundamental change in my vision.  There is no longer any human living being – each one is utterly eternally Divine.  That vision has not left me, only sometimes it is a little faint.  Sometimes I felt as if a train was in my body, a huge powerful flow of divine felicity, too strong for my body.  Then I sat at the organ.  As I was playing I heard a sound as if a thousand organs were playing, filling up the whole world or universe.  I had never heard anything like that in my life, so powerful, penetratingly ravishing, intolerable ecstasy.  I had to stop playing.  Now the presence of the Supreme is constantly present – there is nothing to worry about – the world is utterly Divine.  Whatever shadows I see will disappear.  Each one is the Divine Himself, not less.  Absolute, no one else but the Divine, nothing to be done, just the Divine manifesting Himself in his utter glory.
There is still in my consciousness the awareness of our human life and society.  It is an old habit and utter ignorance.  Still the old world comes back from time to time, but it has no reality.  There is only the Supreme Mother, love, delight.  My soul, my whole body enters into a state of gratitude, utter self-giving.  Now when I look around I do not see any human being.  Behind the thin veil stands the splendour of the supreme glory.  When I play music, it becomes a hundred times more intense.  The body can hardly sleep, but now it will be stabilized, peace is coming.  It is not an ordinary peace – but the peace of the himalayan mountains, in order not to be blown out of existence.  There is far more in that experience, far more, too long, too deep, too difficult to be expressed in words.

Om namo Bhagavate.  Om Sri Aurobindo, Om Douce Mère.  All mantras will not be able to express Their love and compassion for all, for each one.  Thy Will Be Done.

N.Guha Roy 1999