The Mother has always been to me the Incarnation, the direct embodiment of the ultimate absolute Consciousness and Being. At a time of life when I was desperately seeking a meaning in life, I met Her and the moment I saw Her truly speaking all my problems were solved forever.
I knew that She was the ultimate solution. I came in the Ashram to find the Divine. I was aware of a supreme omniscient Presence but I had no communication with it. I knew that only She could help me to find the Divine. She assured me of her help in my effort to realise the Divine. One day She told me not to depend on her person but on her spiritual reality. She never encouraged me to be near her person in a familiar human way. She told me that this She did because She wanted that I should be in direct contact with the Divine. She told me that She was always with me and I was always with Her. As a matter of fact, this has been a living experience with me. Whatever I do, She is sovereignly present in my consciousness. The human in me is a typical example, mean, obscure and miserable of the average humanity. But the soul in me had implicit faith in the Mother. Whatever She says is the absolute truth, whatever She does is an act of grace, meant to take us to the divine goal. She broke down the inner subtle barriers below and above. The Power flows from the superconscient regions above into the being and gradually brings illumination in every part of the being. The human too in me is delivered from its congenital limitations. By the fiery compassionate lightning of the terrible Mother Kali most of the basic ignorant instincts are reduced to ashes. The prison of heart and mind crumble under the assault of the divine force and the soul is released into a vast limitless consciousness of the nameless formless divine existence. Every face and form becomes an embodiment of the supreme reality. There is only the Divine, his will, his vision and his manifestation. The minutest object and being contains the absolute potency. The most trivial movement is part of the omniscient divine vision. The Divine is the only reality. More and more any personal, individual existence seems to be a delightful fiction of the mind. There is only the One, beyond all, infinitely all, yet no one in particular. Waves do not constitute the Ocean. When I came in the Ashram I did not know how to pray, even what to pray for. I had no life. I had no future and I was a stranger to an abiding joy. The Mother has taken over my life, mind, body and soul and I can feel her transforming force working in me pouring from above her light, power and consciousness! I am so deeply satisfied with her constant Presence that I have only one desire – to sing her Glory!
Our life is an altar, a Temple for the adoration of the World-Mother. But for Her, I could not have believed that the Divine is so compassionate and loving.
******
Niranjan Guha Roy – May 1983
